Category: Footie Lifestyle

The Football Family…

Sepp Blatter mostly puts his foot in his mouth when he speaks. There is no doubt the FIFA President has been highly controversial on many matters concerning the beautiful game. From racism to female footballers and bribes, the figurehead of the world’s most popular sport has been nothing short of a huge embarrassment.

However, despite his very impressive resume of controversy, there is one positive thing Blatter has referred to often and we saw it in abundance this week. The “Football Family.” And my how the “Football Family” has come together following the shocking collapse of Bolton Wanderers star Fabrice Muamba at White Hart Lane against Tottenham Hotspur on Saturday.

As the paramedics tried desperately to revive Muamba following a heart-attack during the game, players from both teams, fans in the stadium and viewers from around the globe stood and watched helplessly. The distress was clearly visible on every player’s face and the reaction from the fans in the stadium told a very bleak story.

Since then, players and fans have banded together in prayer and support of Muamba’s recovery. Bolton and Tottenham fans immediately united in stadium by chanting Muamba’s name as he lay lifeless on the pitch. And from Real Madrid, to Chelsea, Barcelona and beyond, many popular footballers wore t-shirts in honour of Muamba. Thierry Henry flew from New York to London to visit his old Arsenal teammate and there are many other players who have done their part the way they can.

In a season where we have seen racist behaviour from players, fans rioting in Egypt and Greece and the governing body of football be accused of bribery, the story of Fabrice Muamba is a sobering reminder that life is fragile and football is just a game. Dead for 78 minutes, I don’t think there are many who thought Muamba would make it. But his incredible recovery is just one of the beautiful threads to what started off as a horrific story. How much has the positive energy from the global “Football Family” helped? Probably quite a bit.

This isn’t about Sepp Blatter and this isn’t a pat on the back for him. However, his notion of a “Football Family” really does exist. We all witnessed it this week and Muamba I’m sure is forever grateful to the heroic paramedics who saved his life and to the players and fans from around the world who prayed for him.

The Weird Science of Football…

John Hughes provided many happy memories for angst ridden teenagers everywhere.

He was the man who gave birth to the more than cool 80’s Brat Pack. He was the man who let Ferris Bueller run riot on his day off. He was the man who dared to give Saturday detention to a bunch of troubled students in the Breakfast Club. And he was the man who made us believe we could create the perfect woman on a homemade computer in the completely outrageous Weird Science.

And that’s the John Hughes flick that got my football brain thinking…

In Weird Science, the nerdy teenage boys were desperate for some girl attention. Problem is, they had no game. They were hopeless, immature and lacked confidence. They couldn’t even attract bees to honey if their lives depended on it.

You could liken the characters from Weird Science to Arsenal in the transfer market. No matter what Arsenal do, their hopelessness and inability to buy quality players is evident. So what do you do if your team doesn’t buy? You build right?

How wonderful would it be if you could really utilize the Weird Science theory and manufacture the ultimate football player? Some would say you should just re-create Lionel Messi. But where is the fun in that? The beauty of this little exercise is to mould your player by using the best parts of all the great players available in today’s game.

Physically who would be your guy? Ronaldo of Real Madrid? Hulk of Porto? Both are sculpted like Greek Gods and could battle with anyone on a football pitch.

Mentally you would want someone like Manchester United legend Ryan Giggs wouldn’t you? A player who has experienced everything in the game can be of high value in the mental stakes.

Technically the talent of Barcelona’s Iniesta would be beautiful wouldn’t it? And what about Bayern Munich star Bastian Schweinsteiger’s grit and determination? Or the strength and courage of Barcelona captain Carlos Puyol? Then there is the endurance of a British player like Wayne Rooney who is used to the gritty requirements of a long football season.

The choices are endless because the football talent in today’s world is vast. From Europe, to South America and beyond, dare to dream. Put your geek on just like those Weird Science boys. Start building your perfect player today. It’s actually quite comforting and you don’t have to be an Arsenal fan to enjoy the Weird Science of Football…

Wishing and Wanting…

Unlike the Queen of England, we are going to keep our Christmas message short and sweet. Whatever part of the world you are from, Happy Holidays to you, your family and your football team.

This is the time of year to reflect and travel down memory lane. But it’s also the time of year where we wish and want.

Whether it’s Santa Claus or Father Christmas, you don’t have to be a child to write to the most famous bearded man ever with a wish list as long as a football pitch.

We football fans generally don’t wait for Christmas to ask for things. We just see it as a bonus time of the year where we can ask for even more. And since the invention of the January transfer window, the wishing and wanting has become an even bigger epidemic.

You wish your team buys new players in order to compete at the highest level. You want your team to sell players that just aren’t good enough. And you want them to keep the stars you love.

What do you wish for this holiday season? A new left back? A center back or striker? Do you wish your team had a new manager? Do you want a new Chairman? Or do you wish your club dumped your mascot?

It’s not rude to wish and want. It’s just part of life. Don’t be ashamed. We all do it. To make yourself feel better, try and give back a little sometimes. It just makes for more wishing and wanting room.

Share your wishes and wants with us. And who knows, they could come true…

The Damned Truth…

I watched The Damned United again last night and couldn’t get something out of my head.

Footballers, managers and celebrities in general are always so afraid to speak their mind to the media. And why would they when it could cost them a major dip in popularity or affect their bulging brand. Cash is king these days and image is everything, but that doesn’t make it right. Or does it?

Even with the power of social media, the moment a person in the public eye Tweets something that is deemed uncouth, the apologists appear in abundance. It was a little different back in the day.

Engrossed in my second viewing of The Damned United, I started to ask the same question over and over again. Would the historic interview on Yorkshire Television between Brian Clough and Don Revie happen in today’s football world? Absolutely not. And then it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

How interesting would that format of interview be today with every Chelsea manager Roman Abramovich has sacked? That’s right. How fascinating would it be to have Ranieri, Mourinho (left by mutual consent means sacked), Grant, Scolari and Ancelotti on a panel going back-and-forth about relationships with players, the owner, transfer dealings and life at the Bridge overall? Could you imagine the skeletons that would come out of the Chelsea closet? Football fans would definitely give hard earned dollars to watch that type of Pay Per View event.

Yes everyone has multi-million and billion dollar brands to protect. But aren’t we all tired of the superficial explanations and excuses from managers, players and executives? Aren’t we all tired of the usual sound bites furnished to the media when something controversial happens professionally or personally for someone in the public eye? There are times when the truth will set you free. Just ask Andy Petite of the New York Yankees who simply admitted to using steroids and was left alone by the media, unlike his hero Roger Clemens who denied, denied, denied and faced perjury charges.

Clough was fearless with the media. He was unlike anything anyone had seen before. And the closest thing I believe we have to him in the modern game is Mourinho. The more I watched the film unfold the more I thought about Mourinho and how at least he has the balls to say what he thinks, regardless of the consequences. Sometimes I understand one needs to massage the truth. But isn’t it best to be as honest as you can be, especially with fans? We will respect you more for it.

I wish more managers and professionals would follow the Clough model to some degree. Sure he could be an arse and unnecessarily controversial. But he was mostly like a teddy bear with a shotgun and when he pulled the trigger at least you weren’t covered in bullshit bullets. Roy Keane would vouch for that. That’s why today’s game needs Mourinho. His character is what makes him The Special One. And like Clough, he just so happens to be an exceptionally talented manager too.

Surely it’s time to let the honest voices sing, or the game will be damned. Don’t we all want the truth? Or was Colonel Jessop right all along? Maybe the masses can’t handle the truth…

Top 10 Pear-Shaped Tips…

When the season goes pear-shaped, you need to be prepared with some sound advice to help you plough through the pain barrier. We fans experience the highs and lows of the beautiful game. Here are some survival tips for when it all goes pete tong…

#10 If you feel like you are about to implode, call the World Football Daily rant line for immediate help.

#9 If the rant line doesn’t work, Tweet like Joey Barton.

#8 Buy a voodoo doll of he entire Manchester City team and stick needles in their eyes instead of your own.

#7 Keep telling yourself “I’m the Special One, I’m the Special One, I’m the Special One.”

#6 Always have Whitecastle cheeseburgers available in your freezer. A dirty burger can save your football life.

#5 Abbreviate your name to initials and be as cool as new Chelski manager AVB.

#4 Seek an Arsenal fan for pear-shaped season advice! They are the experts.

#3 Picture yourself having sex with Ronaldo’s girlfriend…or even Ronaldo!

#2 Headbutt your way through the pain Zizou style.

#1 Watch Team America and be thankful you don’t live in North Korea!

Coming soon…look out for our “Top 10 Essential Items to Store in Your Cupboard for Game Day.”

We heart football…

This is a short post. This is a very sincere and quick fire thank you to the beautiful game from Fans United.

Even after we’ve been shined on ticket prices, even after we’ve overpaid for booze and food all season, even after we’ve bought another home kit jersey, and even after we’ve been robbed by the referee (again), we heart you football. And we will always heart you.

Fans United accept the game for all that it is. We do so because we love everything about it. The victory. The defeat. The passion. The banter. The despair. The euphoria. The silky smooth skills. We eat it. We live for it. We heart you. Thank you football for another great season. We’ll be back for more of the same again…

Money, money, money…

Forbes magazine announced the top 10 richest clubs on the planet yesterday and Manchester United still rule the school when it comes to money.

Biggest surprise is Barcelona dropping from 4th to 5th place, even after their treble winning season. You would expect them to be in the top 3.

1. Manchester United {$1.86 billion}   2. Real Madrid {$1.45 billion}   3. Arsenal {$1.19 billion) 4. Bayern Munich {$1.1 billion}   5. Barcelona {$975 million}   6. AC Milan {$838 million}   7. Chelsea {$658 million}   8. Juventus {$628 million}   9. Liverpool {$552 million}   10. Inter Milan {$441 million}.

The richest players list was also revealed by Forbes yesterday. The one surprise here is that Ronaldinho is still bringing in some large coin. And John Terry must be a bit peeved that Lamps made the top 10 and he didn’t!

1. David Beckham {$40 million}   2. Cristiano Ronaldo {$38 million}   3. Lionel Messi {$32 million}   4. Ricardo Kaka {$25 million}   5. Ronaldinho {$24 million}   6. Thierry Henry {$21 million}   7. Wayne Rooney {$20 million}   8. Frank Lampard {$18 million}   8. Zlatan Ibrahimovic {$18 million}   10. Samuel Eto’o {$17 million}.

Cristiano Ronaldo once said “footballer’s are like slaves.” What do you think?

One thing is for sure, the next round is on one of these guys. And if  they were getting in the drinks, who would you like to be buying yours?

Spring is here…

It’s that time of year where the flowers are blooming, the weather is getting warmer and everyone’s mood is filled with optimism. It’s also that time of year where the men are separated from the boys on planet football. That’s right folks. Spring is here. Do you know what else that means? It’s time for Arsenal to fall apart.

Over the last few years, spring has become more predictable than an episode of a daytime soap opera. Either Chelsea or Manchester United are leading at the top of the Premier League and winning the F.A. Cup, and Barcelona are dominating in Europe, destroying anything within 10 yards. It’s also the time of year where Arsenal dissolve as quickly and as easily as an Alka Seltzer.

At bloom’s first sight, the Gunners usually get knocked out of every trophy they are contending for. There’s talk of a quadruple from Christmas to about mid-March and then bam. Spring hits and it’s like Arsenal develop allergies against winning. Could this be the year where the script is written differently?

If Arsenal don’t win a trophy again this season, it’s almost a certainty Fabregas will leave. And after seeing Jack Wilshere play and bloom beautifully himself this season, the Gunners should finally cut the Fabregas umbilical chord. Time to let the Spaniard go. Let’s face it. During Arsenal’s Champions League battle with Barcelona, Fabregas looked like he was already gagging to play for the Catalan giants. In such a big game for the Gunners, Fabregas was doing too much hugging and kissing of the opponent if you ask me. It’s good to be friendly, but not that friendly before kick-off.

Can any Arsenal fan endure another spring full of tears? Or will this finally be the season of change. Hope springs eternal for many Gooners around the globe…

Is Love Really in the Air?

So it’s Valentine’s Day. And on this day, there is a lot of pressure on guys to deliver the goods for their loved one.

Whether it’s chocolate shaped hearts, a dozen roses or dancing telegrams, guys know they are measured by the size of their gift on this day and not the true love that exists in their hearts. And we all know where that true love really lies don’t we fellas?

That’s right. A man’s true love is with his team. Whether they win, lose or draw, he will support his team week in, week out, despite the results. His team could batter and bruise him on a weekly basis, but that true love runs deep for all men and nothing can come between them. Not even a woman.

If a woman treated her man the same way his team does, a wise geezer would dump her in a heartbeat. Unless he’s having the greatest sex of his life and then he really doesn’t care so much.

Men, women, Valentine’s Day and football. Sometimes it’s nothing but roses. Sometimes it’s nothing but thorns.

So, just remember. On this Valentine’s Day, get your priorities right and spread the love around a little.

Happy New Year…

Let’s face it. 2010 was a pretty rough year and I believe there are many of us who would love to see the back of it. Work was tough. The economy continued to suck and it seems the world was pounded by floods, fires and all sorts of natural disasters.

I had my own natural disaster. For some reason, I found myself feeling apathetic towards football which is surprising because it’s actually an exciting year in the Premier League as there are a number of fresh-faced teams who could win the title. Perhaps it’s been a case of too much of a good thing. Who knows? I believe I will re-discover my love for the beautiful game in the new year.

I’m going to try and keep it simple in 2011. I’ve heard simplifying life is always a good thing. Less is more. We’ve all been overpowered and overrun by gadgets, technology, social media and the Internet in general. We’ve lost the personal touch. I’m going to get mine back!

Now although this post says nothing about nothing much, I would like to say something. Here’s wishing you all a very happy new year. Let’s hope Arsenal win the Premier League. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink!