John Hughes provided many happy memories for angst ridden teenagers everywhere.

He was the man who gave birth to the more than cool 80’s Brat Pack. He was the man who let Ferris Bueller run riot on his day off. He was the man who dared to give Saturday detention to a bunch of troubled students in the Breakfast Club. And he was the man who made us believe we could create the perfect woman on a homemade computer in the completely outrageous Weird Science.

And that’s the John Hughes flick that got my football brain thinking…

In Weird Science, the nerdy teenage boys were desperate for some girl attention. Problem is, they had no game. They were hopeless, immature and lacked confidence. They couldn’t even attract bees to honey if their lives depended on it.

You could liken the characters from Weird Science to Arsenal in the transfer market. No matter what Arsenal do, their hopelessness and inability to buy quality players is evident. So what do you do if your team doesn’t buy? You build right?

How wonderful would it be if you could really utilize the Weird Science theory and manufacture the ultimate football player? Some would say you should just re-create Lionel Messi. But where is the fun in that? The beauty of this little exercise is to mould your player by using the best parts of all the great players available in today’s game.

Physically who would be your guy? Ronaldo of Real Madrid? Hulk of Porto? Both are sculpted like Greek Gods and could battle with anyone on a football pitch.

Mentally you would want someone like Manchester United legend Ryan Giggs wouldn’t you? A player who has experienced everything in the game can be of high value in the mental stakes.

Technically the talent of Barcelona’s Iniesta would be beautiful wouldn’t it? And what about Bayern Munich star Bastian Schweinsteiger’s grit and determination? Or the strength and courage of Barcelona captain Carlos Puyol? Then there is the endurance of a British player like Wayne Rooney who is used to the gritty requirements of a long football season.

The choices are endless because the football talent in today’s world is vast. From Europe, to South America and beyond, dare to dream. Put your geek on just like those Weird Science boys. Start building your perfect player today. It’s actually quite comforting and you don’t have to be an Arsenal fan to enjoy the Weird Science of Football…

Comments

2 Responses to “The Weird Science of Football…”

  1. Jonesy on January 28th, 2012 7:27 am

    This is really cool.

    I would have the head of Paulo Maldini, vast experience and good looks too.

    The guile, ball control and calmness of Zinedine Zidane.

    Dribbling skills of Lionel Messi.

    Body build, strength and power of Cristiano Ronaldo.

    Passion and heart of Roy Keane.

    Passing of Xavi.

  2. Lady Yid on January 28th, 2012 10:23 am

    The technique of Cantona

    The finishing of Messi

    The body of Ronaldo looking slender and fine

    The heart of pele

    And the looks of Ginola

    And this perfect player will have me as their wife

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