When you lose someone you love, it’s difficult not to evaluate life. Emotions are fragile and our ability to function is stifled by the magnitude of our heartbreak. For a while, you feel as though you are existing and not living. You could be on a train, on a plane, or at the store, and all you are wishing for is to be anything but yourself. Everything looks different and it’s scary because you think that this is how the rest of your life is going to be. You are tired of feeling the anger and pain. And if life were a football match, you’d be reaching out to the team coach on the sidelines hoping he’d substitute you for another player.
As life goes on, the anger and pain turns to fear. What is life going to be like without the loved-one you’ve lost? How are you going to make it through the day without hearing their voice? Your mind is working in extra-time and you start worrying about losing others you love. How do you go on with these fears? Only the unfortunate ones who have lost know that time can heal the gut-wrenching fear and pain of loss. For a while, words, food, football and even sex can’t help you. In football, time is not always on your side. In grieving, time becomes your best friend. Time becomes your hope. Time becomes the shoulder to lean on. Time also helps you discover that the things you once loved and cherished can slowly bring you back to life.
At first, it didn’t really matter if Arsenal were losing or if Chelsea were winning. It didn’t matter who was fighting for relegation or who was battling to make it into the Premier League’s elite top four. Football was insignificant. But time makes you realize that it’s okay to smile, cheer or be happy. It’s not frowned upon for you to watch your favourite sport and root for your beloved team even if you are grieving. After all, aren’t our passions and hobbies just a few of the things that help us get through the heartbreak and stresses of life? Have we all been taking life a bit too seriously of late? Have we become so caught-up in the economic crash, new technology, global warming and social media that we’ve forgotten the very essence of what makes us tick?
Time has helped my heart heal. Football has helped me feel a little normal. And having my sweetheart has helped me realize once again what is important in life. Loss can do many things to you. Loss can make you stir crazy. Loss can destroy you, if you allow it. The best way to approach the battle with loss is as though it were a championship game. You take the fear, the anger and the pain and you use it to motivate and drive you to win. Whether it’s the Champions or Premier League, the local pub tournament, the daily grind of life or the battle with loss, we can all feel like a champion when we win the difficult battles that challenge us to our core.
Sometimes it takes a friend and a quality glass of wine to bring back a smile. Sometimes it takes a hug from a sister to make you feel safe. And sometimes it takes our favourite sport to help us feel like we are living again and not just existing. British Soccer Diva is back and ready to live and love the beautiful game once more…