Aug
11
Top 10 Pear-Shaped Tips…
Filed Under Footie Lifestyle
When the season goes pear-shaped, you need to be prepared with some sound advice to help you plough through the pain barrier. We fans experience the highs and lows of the beautiful game. Here are some survival tips for when it all goes pete tong…
#10 If you feel like you are about to implode, call the World Football Daily rant line for immediate help.
#9 If the rant line doesn’t work, Tweet like Joey Barton.
#8 Buy a voodoo doll of he entire Manchester City team and stick needles in their eyes instead of your own.
#7 Keep telling yourself “I’m the Special One, I’m the Special One, I’m the Special One.”
#6 Always have Whitecastle cheeseburgers available in your freezer. A dirty burger can save your football life.
#5 Abbreviate your name to initials and be as cool as new Chelski manager AVB.
#4 Seek an Arsenal fan for pear-shaped season advice! They are the experts.
#3 Picture yourself having sex with Ronaldo’s girlfriend…or even Ronaldo!
#2 Headbutt your way through the pain Zizou style.
#1 Watch Team America and be thankful you don’t live in North Korea!
Coming soon…look out for our “Top 10 Essential Items to Store in Your Cupboard for Game Day.”
Secret survival tip number 11…surround yourself with West Ham fans, always a team worse off then yours! ARE YOU WEST HAM IN DISGUISE!